Transitioning from male to female was not easy for Miss Transsexual Australia 2019 winner, youth advocacy leader and registered nurse Vienna Salvo. More so, coming out to her family and friends that she was even harder.
Ms Salvo only came out as transgender during her second year in nursing, and confessed that she was transitioning a year after that.
“I only recently came out as transgender in my second year of nursing so I actually went through my first year closeted and the rest of my life before that."
Ms Salvo says she did not have the courage to speak earlier because she feared being ostracised.
"I was afraid of rejection or people voicing out their opinion so before I came out, I prepared myself for rejection. I told myself, 'It’s okay, the opinions of others are a reflection of themselves'. That’s what got me through coming out to others and vocalising my transition because I thought, 'This is my journey, I know my story better than others.'”
(R) Vienna Salvo graduates from Bachelor of Nursing at the Australian catholic University (R) Vienna Salvo getting ready for her work shift at Mercy Hospital Source: Vienna Salvo
Navigating gender dysphoria
At an early age of three, Ms Salvo already thought that she was a girl.
“Growing up, like at maybe three-years-old, I always thought I was a girl, I played with other girls and all my interests were similar to a girl but the only thing different was external.”
Despite being told by family that she was a boy, Ms Salvo says she didn't look the way she felt inside.
"People were telling me to play with boys and my family would tell me I should behave in ways that’s normal for a boy, and for me, it felt wrong and then that’s when I started asking, 'Is there something wrong with me?'”
While Ms Salvo was seeking answers and acceptance, it was when her cousin introduced her to a group of transgender folks that she finally learnt about the LGBTIQ+ community. Knowing such a group existed made her feel at home right away.
"I didn’t know about trans people until I was 16 years old. This was the first time I knew about Miss Transsexual Australia and then I looked up what transsexual meant. I watched the pageant to learn more about [these] girls and to know if this is the journey that was on or similar. That was when I found out that most of them are in their final stages of transitioning, but at the beginning they were going through the struggles that I went through."
Born in Kaligari, Leyte, Philippines, Vienna Salvo migrated to Australia in 2004. At the age of 3, she already thought that she was a girl. Source: Vienna Salvo
Overcoming the struggles of gender transitioning
Ms Salvo says that although transitioning for the first time brought her excitement, it was also a moment when she hit the lowest point of her life and became her own worst enemy.
“I didn't really receive negativity from others, it was myself," she says. "I became so anxious and it actually got worse. I remember spending four months by myself staying at home and avoiding people."
Aside from going through a period of self-isolation, she also felt devastated whenever she was described with male pronouns.
"When I received pronouns that were male or 'he' it struck me and went straight to my heart," she says. "I’m thinking about negative scenarios of people hating me because that was the time I looked ambiguous. I remember working in an indoor skate centre and had customers referring to me as either male or female and that hurt because I was in the middle at that time.”
After four months of what she calls self-education, she finally took the step toward self-acceptance through the help of friends and specialists.
“Over time as I spent a lot of time by myself, I became more accepting towards myself and so I went to see a psychologist, speech pathologist and gender specialist once a month. They became my best friends.”
Ms Salvo adds that the strong support for transgender people in Australia inspired her to press on.
“Here in Australia they really want you to be open. They’re accepting. Just put your hand up and say I’m struggling and I need support.”
Right when she had fully accepted herself, Ms Salvo was confronted by another challenge - telling her 65-year-old mother that she was transitioning.
Ms Salvo shares with teary eyes that the very last person she told about her plans was her mum because she feared losing her.
"The very last person I told was my mum. She was one of the last people because I was very scared of losing her. To tell her about me going from one gender to the other physically was a very big challenge."
Ms Salvo admits that when she told her about her transitioning, her mother became unhappy and told her negative things out of shock.
"She said some harmful words because she didn't want people to hurt me. She didn’t want me to feel different. She was afraid of my future. So I reminded her in this time now there’s so much support."
Ms Salvo knew that her family needed time to process the whole situation.
"Once you begin the process of transition, it takes time for the people around you to process and change with you. My mum went from tolerance, to supporting me then acceptance, she started accepting my journey and then she embraced it."
As part of her gender transition, Ms Salvo is undertaking vocal therapy, a series of medical tests and hormonal therapy including taking estrogen and anti-androgen medications.
(L) Vienna Salvo with her family, (R) Vienna Salvo is joined by her good friends Source: Vienna Salvo
'Making a difference' in the community
Experiencing poverty in the Philippines influenced Ms Salvo's decision to serve her community as a youth leader in Wyndham City’s youth advocacy program.
"For three years during my nursing, I joined a youth advocacy program. It's called Wyndham Youth Taskforce. We are the voice of our local community. We hold up activities and create projects so that we can help our youth flourish. We create activities like arts festivals, sports festival, anti-bullying projects."
Ms Salvo admits that although she lived a difficult life during her childhood years in Kaligari, Leyte, Philippines, she is extremely grateful for it because it taught her to value her present life in Australia.
"I grew up in poverty in a small village near an ocean. We had no electricity, no source of water in taps at home. I remember days when we had to carry jugs and then fill them up with water and then using lanterns as a form of light source for our family. But, I’m so glad I went from Philippines to here because I was able to really value everything I have now."
Ms Salvo is also living her dream as a surgical ward nurse at the Werribee Mercy Hospital.
“Starting nursing I thought, 'Okay, if this is my goal I want to reflect it on my everyday life. I don’t want to just do this for work.' I mean it’s a bonus being paid to look out for people and doing good for others but I wanted to do it outside of work also.”
Winning the title of Miss Transsexual International Australia 2019 came as a surprise to Ms Salvo, but she says the title grants her a bigger platform to help those who are also in the process of transitioning.
"I wanted to join so I could share my story with other people who went through the same journey that I did and are currently going through it. I thought if I could just influence at least one person then I’m doing the job right."
Ms Salvo urges people who are going through struggles in gender to find a strong support network.
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