KEY POINTS
- According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, there are over half-a-million single parent families with a dependent child under 15 years of age. Majority of single parents are women.
- Despite the prevalence of the single mother stereotypes, Chelledee refuses to succumb to societal expectations or allow herself to be defined by preconceived notions.
- She is hoping for a more inclusive and compassionate society that celebrates the diversity of family structures and recognises the inherent strength and resilience of single mothers.
In a society where stereotypes often overshadow individual experiences, single mothers often find themselves unfairly labelled and judged based on misconceptions rather than their true character and abilities. The stereotype of the "single mum" carries with it a heavy burden- one that implies inadequacy, pity, and a perceived inability to navigate the complexities of parenthood alone.
Chelledee dela Cruz, a single mother of three, has encountered her fair share of stereotype. "I hear things from people," she acknowledges, reflecting on the stigma attached to single motherhood. "She’s a single mum is a phrase I've become all too familiar with."
Yet, despite the prevalence of such stereotypes, Chelledee refuses to succumb to societal expectations or allow herself to be defined by preconceived notions.
"I understand that they will feel sorry, and I accept that as an opinion," she asserts. "But I don't really feel sorry for myself and for my family."
The journey towards single motherhood wasn't a path Chelledee had anticipated. The dissolution of her relationship stemmed from profound issues that rooted in her ex-partner’s own self-crisis and childhood trauma. Despite their efforts to salvage their relationship, they found themselves at a crossroads, realising that their future goals no longer aligned, and communication had faltered beyond repair.
For Chelledee, the key to overcoming stereotypes lies in cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness and resilience.
She chooses to focus on the lessons and growth
For Chelledee, the key to overcoming stereotypes lies in cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness and resilience. Rather than internalising the pity or judgement of others, she chooses to focus on the lessons learned and the growth achieved through her journey of single motherhood.
"I'm more focused on what I learned from what happened to me. If they feel sorry and I don't know who I am or don't protect my energy, I will feel sorry for myself."
She refuses to allow this to dictate her sense of self-worth or define her capabilities as a parent.
"There are those who will distance themselves from you, who will view you differently. But they don't have to feel bad because I don't feel bad."
A call for a more inclusive society
Chelledee embraces her role as a single mother with dignity and grace, challenging the misconceptions that seek to diminish her worth. Through her unwavering strength and resilience, she serves as an inspiration for single mothers, reminding them that their worth is not defined by societal expectations or judgements.
As she continues to navigate the ups and downs of single parenthood, she remains steadfast in her resolve to break free from the bond of stereotypes and pave the way for a more inclusive and compassionate society. One that celebrates the diversity of family structures and recognises the inherent strength and resilience of single mothers.
'Love Down Under' is a podcast series on SBS Filipino that explores love, relationships, and family stories.
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
'I don't feel sorry for myself': The single mother stereotype is not holding this mum down
SBS Filipino
15/03/202433:17
