In this week's episode Dateline meets the teenagers coming of age in Ukraine. Watch Teens, Love and War, Tuesday 25 April, 9.30pm on SBS or stream via
Ukraine’s second-largest city of Kharkiv was among the first targets when Russia invaded in February 2022. Before the war, it was a major educational and cultural hub.
In the past year, thousands of teenagers had their lives upended and dreams shattered by the war. Some have picked up arms. Others are trying to keep living and struggle with mental health issues.
These are some of their stories.
Alevtina, 18: ‘I lost my mum in the first year of Russia’s invasion’
A quiet dinner at home with your dad is far from the dream 18th birthday party for most teenagers. But for Alevtina, it was all she wanted.
Alevtina marked her 18th birthday without her mother. Credit: SBS Dateline.
“A shell flew into the house, and she was killed by a fragment of the building that hit her head,” Alevtina recalls.
“We believed that an ambulance would come, and it would be possible to save her somehow. It was probably an instant death. I hope it wasn't painful for her.”
“It was literally a moment. If only she had got inside, she would have stayed alive.”
Alevtina's mother, Olena, was killed on the front steps of their apartment building last year. Credit: SBS Dateline.
“If it wasn't for Alevtina, I don't know how I would keep on living. That’s how we survived this great grief, because we are together.”
Serhii says the war and the loss forced adulthood upon his daughter.
“She grew up in one day. She was a child on March 15th and on March 16th, after lunch, she had already become an adult. She lives, she understands what life is and what death is.”
Alevtina stands outside her unit block that has been damaged by shelling. Credit: SBS Dateline.
“It distracts me from my obsessive thoughts. I’m doing what I like [and] creating something beautiful.”
“One needs to enjoy what they have, rather than have dreams and regrets about what they don’t have or have lost.”
Artem, 19: Fighting on the Ukrainian frontline
Artem, 19, is home on a short reprieve from serving in the Ukrainian army. Since joining the military, he has only been able to see his family only once or twice a month.
Artem is fighting for the Ukrainian army. Credit: SBS Dateline.
“I was a child before, the war has totally changed me,” he told Dateline. “Some people might say it has stuffed me up, but I would say it has changed me.”
His mum, Anastasiya, said Artem had left for the frontline without asking her permission, taking up arms against his former country. The family are still Russian citizens even though they moved to Ukraine in 2007.
“I was very concerned for him. The only thing left for me was to pray,” she said. “Now, after nearly one year of service, it feels like he is older than my other children.”
Artem jokes that he is ‘a good Russian’ because he’s alive and fighting for Ukraine, a twist on the Ukrainian saying that ‘a good Russian is a dead Russian’.
Walking through the centre of Kharkiv, Artem noticed a group of teenagers listening to music and drinking beers.
“I thought, ‘Sh*t, what kids!’ but then, a second later, it struck me I was just like them, the same age as them.”
When he gets time off from fighting, Artem spends it with his girlfriend, Yaryna.
“She has said several times that I'm a hero, to which I’ve replied, ‘Not really’”.
“But she says that for her, I’m a hero.”
Yaryna holds a bunch of roses from Artem. They are dyed blue and yellow, the colours of the Ukrainian flag. Credit: SBS Dateline.
“I am fighting not only for the people of Ukraine, I am fighting for my family, for Yaryna. I know that when I return home, someone will be waiting for me.”
Oleksii, 16: Living in the theatre of war
Oleksii’s parents are actors. His dream is to perform on the stage like them.'
Oleksii recently turned 16. He says he holds a slinky "to clasp something in my hands - it’s either wringing my hands or playing with this slinky to keep my hands busy somehow." Credit: SBS Dateline.
“I’ve been here from day one of the war, and I won’t be able to explain how it feels, because you have to live through it,” he told Dateline.
Oleksii recently turned 16. There are still ‘Happy Birthday’ decorations featuring Avengers superheroes hanging in the kitchen. It’s a reminder that he is still a kid.
Kharkiv is no longer under constant attack, but air raid sirens still ring out every few days. Even now, it’s rare for Oleksii to venture outside of the theatre for more than a few minutes. He feels safe in the corridors of the theatre. As life slowly returns to a semblance of normalcy in Kharkiv, the theatre is reopening with a new, war-themed play. But Oleksii isn’t excited.
“The fact that the theatre is reopening tends to scare me on occasion. Because... what if these scum of the earth find out about it and decide to send a missile here?”
Oleksii used to dream of following his parents into acting. Credit: SBS Dateline.
The war has had a strong impact on Oleksii’s mental health. As a coping mechanism, he always carries a rainbow slinky, feeling the need to clasp something in his hands. He is scared there could be a new Russian advance on Kharkiv.
“I do not get used to it. Recently there was a hit near my school, it’s not far away from here, and the university got destroyed. Every time it happens it becomes even more frightening,” he said.
“It takes a missile one minute to fly here from Belgorod,” he says. “This one minute may just put an end to my life.”
Oleksii still wants to be an actor, to perform for audiences in his hometown, but even more he dreams of peace.
“I’ll have an apartment of my own, and I’ll work here at this theatre. After a performance, I’ll come home to have a good night’s sleep in my room, in my own bed, without any explosions or sirens. I’ll wake up and not think of being hit by a missile.”
