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How can a single decision change the course of your life? Watch Insight's episode Fateful Decisions on
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Fateful Decisions
episode • Insight • news and current affairs • 52m
episode • Insight • news and current affairs • 52m
"I’m very sorry," the doctor said, leaning forwards across the desk.
It was an unremarkable Tuesday and people were going about their ordinary business. And I was too, until suddenly I wasn’t.
"It's very bad news. Pregnancy hormones feed this cancer. You must terminate this pregnancy or you'll die."
The death of my child, or the death of me. They were my options.
In a daze, I gripped my partner Lee’s hand and asked some questions, while in my belly another voice rose, strong and furious, curling around that tiny spark in my womb with a bone-deep ferocity.
It snarled: no.
Gina Chick was advised to get an abortion in order to prevent her cancer spreading and save her life. Source: Supplied
Which advice to follow?
Advice. It comes from all directions, desired or unwanted.
But how do we become the author of our own advice?
I dutifully followed the GP’s referral to a breast surgeon who was patronising and dismissive of my questions.
But then something happened. That deep growl inside grew louder as the forces pushing me towards a path that felt wrong grew stronger.
I began to take control.
Healers, doctors and scientists became my reference points. As did friends who had been through cancer or had loved ones who had.
I initially vowed not to have chemo, which is cytotoxic. It kills growing cells. What is a fetus but growing cells?
I found my team. The breast surgeon who listened when I said no to mastectomies and terminations. A GP with alternative roots who arranged tests outside the conventional sphere. The oncologist who wanted me to have chemo right away, but who listened when I said, "It’s not a no, it’s a not yet".
Alternative treatments proved futile, despite all my efforts. Something had to shift or that GP would be proven right. I’d most likely die and leave Lee to raise our daughter alone.
I began to think about chemotherapy while pregnant.
Gina Chick wanted to avoid chemotherapy while pregnant but after doing her research, found three agents she was willing to take. Source: Supplied
'The perfect piece of advice'
At this time, a dear friend and mentor gave me some amazing advice.
"Gina, there is white person medicine. Black person medicine. Red and Yellow medicine. Earth medicine. Women’s medicine," he said.
"There are so many different kinds of medicine. Each has their gifts, but they are all just advisers. Listen to them all, find your rightness with each, but ultimately, you have to live with the decisions you make, and only you can choose your timing."
It was the most perfect piece of advice. The question wasn't "is this right or wrong?". It's "is this right, right now?"
What a beautiful question. One I can run through my body and receive an answer to.
This is a stepping stone I have used every day since, at every crossroad in my life.
Gina Chick was determined to do everything she could to bring her baby healthily into the world. Source: Supplied
He came out with about 200 pages of medical studies. I pored over them, highlighter scribbling, distilling data into what was pertinent to me, and ended up with three chemotherapy agents I was willing to take.
When I brought them to the oncologist, he smiled and said: "They’re what I would have given you anyway."
This is a stepping stone I have used at every crossroad in my life.
A beginning and an end
I took what I know from my connection with the earth and from First Nations practices. I took the advice that's available to all of us in our own internal guidance system, and brought all of that together, to then make the decision that would be life or death for me and for my child.
I made that choice in my own right timing.
I said yes to chemo for three months. And instead of the predicted 1.5kg, Blaise was born naturally and full term at 4.5kg, with me in remission from cancer.
The deep voice inside had been right. There was a way to get her here, with both of us healthy.
Despite Gina undergoing chemotherapy while pregnant, her daughter Blaise was born full term at 4.5kg, a healthy weight for a newborn. Source: Supplied
Lee and I held her small body as she left it behind, but our song followed her into the mystery.
Gina and Lee's daughter Blaise was only three when she died of cancer. Source: Supplied
Did my chemo trigger the cancer that later took her? The doctors said there was no evidence of that, but really, we can never know.
Trusting your instinct and backing your choices
When considering advice, I think one of the most important things is not to retrospectively second guess. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of "if only", and "what if".
For me, that would be a soul-destroying path. I made the choices I could with the information available at the time. I could not have done anything differently.
I had three amazing years with my incredible daughter, and every second was a marvel.
She broke me open in 10,000 ways. I don’t regret a moment.
Gina says she relishes the three "amazing" years she spent with her daughter before she died. Source: Supplied
I said yes, and that’s what we did.
Ultimately, she taught me about love, because grief is the flip side of love.
I am so much more because of her. I am grateful every day for our journey, and don't regret a moment.
For me, it's so important to make sure the wise, wild voice of instinct is alive in any conversation about advice.
Ultimately, we are the ones who have to live with the consequences of our choices. Nobody can say whether those choices are right or wrong.
Only we can.
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