Warning: this article refers to an Aboriginal person who has died and discusses distressing themes, including domestic violence.
Courtney Ugle lives her life with a 'glass half full' mentality.
It's a mentality she inherited from her mum, Jody.
The Ballardong Wardandi Noongar woman was 19 when she got the news her mum had been murdered, killed by her partner.
When Courtney reflects on her time with her mum, she remembers her unconditional love.
"At the time it's funny, you don't think you're being taught life lessons, but now upon reflection, I was taught so much about life," she told NITV.
"I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to learn from her in her own quirky little ways.
"She was just the ultimate person, you could go to her for anything. I told her everything and she never judged, she just showed up with unconditional love and did the very best at being my mother with what she had."
A young Courtney with her mother Jody. Source: Supplied / Courtney Ugle
"My mum and dad loved each other very much. I was unfortunate that I didn't get to witness that kind of love. I wish I did," she said.
Following her father's death, Courtney witnessed every partner her mum had use violence, including financial, mental, emotional and physical violence.
"As kids we knew it was wrong ... it was normalised because it happened so much in our lives," she said.
"It breaks my heart that she endured that for the majority of her life.
"We didn't understand then what mum was going through, or why things were the way things were, but we know that she loved us kids, we never questioned that."
Today, Courtney maintains the same optimism about the world she saw her mother exhibit.
"I see the good in everybody. I love everybody and that's because of her, that is the part of me that is connected to her," she said.
Finding community
Courtney facilitating a YoungLuv program. Source: Supplied / Courtney Ugle
She has her own small business, plays professional AFL for the Bombers in the VFLW, and works at the Aboriginal Community Controlled Organisation, Djirra.
Djirra began as the Aboriginal Family Violence Prevention and Legal Service and now supports Aboriginal women and girls affected by domestic, family and sexual violence.
"When I first moved to Melbourne, my priority was getting to know community," she said.
"Djirra was my first job here, a Blak organisation [that] welcomed me with open arms and took me under their wings.
“My work is driven by a deep, personal commitment to making a positive impact on the lives of others, particularly within my community."
Paving the way for young ones
Courtney is now the facilitator of the YoungLuv program.
"It's an early intervention and prevention workshop for Aboriginal girls across Victoria, promoting healthy relationships," she explained.
"A lot of things are so normalised and some things can get passed off, but that's just culture. It's as simple as saying 'Go give Uncle a kiss.'
"If you don't feel comfortable doing that, you shouldn't have to, you should be able to say no.
"I let these girls know what their rights are, knowing that they can stand up to it. And it isn't just relationships with an intimate partner, it's everyone."
'Where are the stories of our survivors?'
Courtney says her work in community is her passion.
While Courtney believes there's a "national crisis", but says there's an essential element of the story missing from media coverage.
Us as Blak women know what we want and need in our communities.
"When it comes to this space, we focus on the statistics, we focus on the fact another woman has died," she said.
"But where are the stories of some of our survivors? Or the people who have done the work, lived through that and have been able to create change?
"I sometimes think we often forget to reflect on these stories.
"It's self-determination and self-empowerment hearing those voices ... let us tell our stories.
"We're so marginalised in this space, us as Blak women know what we want and need in our communities. We need to be given a voice and we need action to take place - otherwise, this is going to continue being a crisis.
"We're losing our women."
For Courtney, her mum is the person who sparked this passion inside of her, but young ones are the reason she keeps going.
"My mum isn't here earthside, but she is alive within me. I feel like I have this burning desire to keep her spirit alive. I look at my nieces and my nephews and our kids, and I see them as the reason why," she said.
"I want to break cycles so that our kids will come up after us and not have to battle through what we have.
"I just hope to show them that anything is possible . . . we have strength, resilience, power, we come from a warrior race.
"We aren't what has happened to us."
1800RESPECT (1800 737 732)
13YARN 13 92 76
Aboriginal Counselling Services 0410 539 905
1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)
Lifeline 13 11 14
