Caring is a part of who Andonea Lecopoulus has always been. As a kindergarten student, her teachers called her ‘mother hen’. Now, at the age of 55, that sense of warmth flows towards her own mother, who needs constant assistance in her Concord, NSW home.
When Eudoxia Lecopoulos’ medical needs increased in her 70s, Andonea and her sister Helen moved back to their childhood home, drawing their close-knit family together to help their ageing mother.
The 88-year-old has had two hip replacements, endometrial cancer, two spinal fusions, a hysterectomy, has arthritis and is diabetic. She needs help with medications, personal care and mobility and her daughters take care of cooking, housework and gardening as well as doctors’ appointments and finances. Once a week, Andonea sits down to sort her mother’s medication into blister packs for the week ahead.
The sisters hope that by working together, they can avoid having to seek the services of residential care facilities for Eudoxia. Their ambition is to keep her happy in her home environment for as long as they possibly can.
Mother and daughter, Eudoxia and Andonea Lecopoulos, at their home in Concord, NSW. Source: SBS
Friends questioned whether the move home in her 40s meant she was sacrificing her freedom and independence. There was no doubt in Andonea’s mind that it was the right thing to do.
Her mother cared for her as an infant and “it’s time to pay it forward,” she says.
Yet, like the majority of carers, . “I don’t consider myself her carer, I’m just her daughter and you do that for family,” Andonea tells SBS Voices. “You don’t think twice about it.”
She jokes that, far from losing her freedom, she was well beyond the age of having anything to hide from her mother when she moved back home. She comes and goes as she pleases, as long as she lets her mother know her plans.
Plus, she is able to live with Helen, who is also her best friend. “How good is that? You get to hang out with your best friend all the time.”
Andonea Lecopoulos says she "didn't think twice" about becoming a carer to her ageing mother, Eudoxia. Source: SBS
Andonea is a part-time aqua aerobics instructor, and fits early and evening classes around her mother’s schedule. After a 6am class, she heads home to help her mother out of bed and to make her breakfast before going back to work. Between housework and chores, she entertains her mother, sometimes going to see a film together.
They are two of - and the fact that the sisters share their mother’s ongoing care and are able to support each other is integral to their value as effective caregivers.
“We give each other a break. Sometimes mum can be difficult, but it doesn’t mean you love her any less,” she says. “I just want to make her happy and make sure that she enjoys the rest of her life.”
Her sister helps stave off the occasional loneliness of the role, as does the fulfilment of her instructing. She also leans on for the opportunity to meet and chat with like-minded people whose situations are not far from her own.
Sisters Andonea and Helen and mother Eudoxia Lecopoulos. The sisters moved into their childhood home to care for their ageing mother. Source: SBS
The Australian Government program gives carers access to counselling, skills courses, coaching, tailored support packages and to both online and in-person peer support groups. Whether caring for a child with disability or an ageing parent, Carer Gateway puts an emphasis on caring for the carer - and underlines the fact that they are not alone.
“It’s just nice to have people who are going through the same thing and who can give you a little bit of support when you need it,” Andonea says of Carer Gateway’s community forums. “Someone says ‘Hang in there, I went through that situation and this is how I got over it or made it better for myself.’”
Over the years, she’s learnt that, as well as taking care of their loved ones, carers must also make the effort - and it often doesn’t come naturally - to take care of themselves and make room for downtime.
She is in a choir and credits singing with the release of feel-good endorphins. She goes to the movies and to concerts, including a recent Elton John show that she and her sister saw in the midst of a torrential summer downpour.
“We felt very rock and roll,” she laughs. “Little things like that make you happy.”
If you look after a loved one, Carer Gateway is a free support service, especially for you. Call Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737 or go to to find out what we can do for you. Authorised by the Australian Government, Canberra.
