Corin Nichols-Tomlins, 15, has travelled to Canberra this week with his two mums, and there’s one MP he’s particularly keen to see again: Tim Wilson.
Wilson made headlines on Monday when he proposed to his boyfriend in a tearful scene as Australia’s lower house prepares to enact marriage equality. He’s the first MP to ever propose in the chamber.
But the tears just outside Wilson’s office a year ago weren’t from his eyes. They were from the rainbow families, who’d travelled there to stop the highly divisive plebiscite.
Corin says: “Tim Wilson’s reaction was the worst. He said he’d still go ahead with the plebiscite even though it goes against what he should believe in. I was pretty outraged. I wanted to shout: you’re gay! With a partner of eight years! The plebiscite will hurt so many young people!”
He adds: “I’m looking forward to talking to him about how, even though the plebiscite went ahead, we still won!”
Jac Tomlins, one of Corin’s two mums, was there a year ago along with 48 others - 22 same-sex parents and 27 kids aged between eight and 16.
“One girl, Mietta, 16, really took on Tim Wilson” Jac says. “They couldn’t understand, because he’s gay, why he wasn't on our side. He responded that being part of a team means even if you don’t agree, you support them. Mietta said, ‘I’ve got younger siblings, I’m really worried people will say nasty things about their family, please help me protect them.’ Afterwards, we all burst into tears.”
This week’s trip to the nation’s capital is extra special for the Nichols-Tomlins family. They’re all going this time: Jac, her partner Sarah, and their three children: Corin, 15, Scout, 12 and Cully, 10 - along with other rainbow families. It’ll be a victory lap as history is made, and closure after a 14-year campaigning journey for this family.
Sarah and Jac married in Canada in 2003. Returning home, they took on a court case with Melbourne University Law School to clarify the status of their marriage in Australia but a week before its hearing, the Marriage Amendment Act defined it as a union between a man and woman, nullifying their case. They’ve campaigned for equality ever since: “Corin was nine months old when we walked down the aisle” Jac says. “Going to Canberra to see the law passed is important, because this has been their fight too. They’ve contributed in their own right.”
Corin says: “This has been my entire life. It’s part of my day-to-day life as much as eating and sleeping. It’s been stressful at times - like when they first announced there’d be a plebiscite. But the high point was the YES result - a very exciting day.”
As they gear up for their family trip to watch legislative history, Jac and Corin reflect on their first trip to Canberra. It was certainly eventful. At one point, they stood up and walked out of parliament in protest. Jac says: “Turnbull’s claim that Australia would have a respectful debate was dismissive. We’d already had a year of attacks on the Safe Schools program saying same-sex parents are mad, bad, and sad. We knew our families would be a focus of the plebiscite. So Fliss (head of Rainbow Families Victoria) stood up and walked out and we all followed.”
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But the trip had a huge impact on Bill Shorten, who reversed his initial support for the plebiscite after hearing stories from these rainbow families. “These extraordinarily smart, resilient, articulate young people - our kids - were able to go down there and have this influence. That’s huge.” Jac says.
But it wasn’t enough. When the government pushed through the postal survey, Jac and other mums from the Rainbow Families Network challenged it in the High Court, but their bid failed. “That was hard and horrible. I had a personal meltdown. We never thought we’d have to face it. The campaign kicked off so quickly. I thought, I cannot walk down that high street where I’ve lived for 15 years, asking traders like Jim where I get my glasses, or my local coffee shop, to put Vote Yes posters up, and have them say no.” A friend - a straight ally - stepped in to hand out the local posters for Jac. But she returned with a warning: “She said, there’s no way you can hand these out, because of the hostility. Someone even threw the posters across the room.”
During the campaign, one younger child asked if it was a No result, if she’d be removed from her family or if her mums would go to prison. But this family kept their sense of humour. Teenager Corin came in on Halloween saying he needed a bible and a badge, because he was going trick-or-treating as Lyle Shelton!
Results day was nail-biting; Jac “tried to text but my hand was shaking so I couldn’t.” She burst into tears at the 61.6% YES result “not tears of joy, tears of release. Someone handed me a glass of champagne. I’d had no breakfast. I was pissed as a fart and danced for an hour.”
Corin recalls the “stressful” build up: “I was extremely worried.” At first he felt “numbness” at the result, but then ecstasy: “Suddenly everyone was hugging, lots of tears, tissues being handed around, confetti everywhere, people dancing - especially Sarah!”
To sit in parliament as same-sex marriage becomes law will be a “remarkable moment but also closure” for Jac. “The ‘equality’ has always been the most important part of marriage equality. The getting married part is secondary to the profound message it sends to young people in our community.”
For Corin, there’ll be “many tears of joy after so many years of campaigning. It’ll be finally over!”
If he had one message for Tony Abbott or Malcolm Turnbull, it’d be simple: “I’d have to refrain from swearing. But it’d be what we’ve said all along: children of same-sex families are just the same as any other child raised in heterosexual families.”
“Also, this: you cannot stop love.”
