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Married Young
episode • Insight • news and current affairs • 52m
episode • Insight • news and current affairs • 52m
Maree married and divorced young before bringing up her
daughter alone. It was only when her child got married three years ago that the 57-year-old started to feel lonely.
"I'm a university professor and I filled up my life with work. When my daughter was suddenly gone, I decided I still had a bit of life left and wanted to try online dating," she told Insight.
But she found it a minefield.
"People were dishonest on their profiles and I had little in common with them. Plus it took up so much time. I wanted to speed up the process so I made contact with a matchmaker."
Maree chose a matchmaker in Sydney and said she was immediately struck by how different the experience was.
"I wrote a very honest and in-depth profile and had professional photos taken. Then she sent me my first match."
Maree met her partner through a matchmaker. The couple got engaged last year in Paris. Source: Supplied
With the last match — a man called Edwin, everything clicked for Maree.
"I met this beautiful man and towards the end of last year he proposed on a bridge in Paris. Now we're planning our wedding."
Matchmaking need not be 'embarrassing'
Sheikh Alaa Elzohm came to Australia from Egypt in 2013 and met his wife Rheme, an Australian Muslim from Melbourne, through a matchmaker.
They're now married with two young children.
"Matchmaking led me to my wife," Sheikh Alaa told Insight. "We had chemistry at first because the boxes were ticked and we shared the same values. The more we have supported each other, especially in hardships, we have realised the depth of that love."
Sheikh Alaa Elzohm (right) came to Australia from Egypt in 2013 and met his wife Rheme (left) through a matchmaker. The couple now help others to find love. Source: Supplied
He says his years as a matchmaker have taught him about the importance of getting to know someone before you commit.
"In my mosque, I have seen young people meet on dating apps and rush into marriage who didn't have time to get to know each other well. Then they divorce.
"Soul connection is what happens when you spend time face-to-face."
Sheikh Alaa believes dating apps focus too much on appearances.
"What's attracting young people is not the quality and the values of a person. Marriage has been proven to be much more than someone's appearance.
"When you share values, you love a person more. You want to be with them more."
He believes there are limited opportunities in Australia today for young people to meet others in their community.
"It's so important to facilitate meetings and community gatherings, to give young people different options in finding a partner. That's what I'm passionate about.
"We need young people to normalise matchmaking so it's not embarrassing. They should give it a go, because they may find the partner they've spent years looking for."
People 'not serious' on dating apps
While Sheikh Alaa's work bringing couples together falls under his role as Imam, most matchmakers charge for their services, which can vary in price from a few hundred dollars to many thousands, depending on how extensive and personalised the service is.
Preeti Kothari and Heena Kajaria are matchmakers for Australia's Indian diaspora. They have a database of 2,000 people on their website and receive 10 to 12 new registrations every day.
Preeti Kothari and Heena Kajaria say the personal vetting of their service makes matchmaking a lot more effective than online dating. Source: Supplied
Preeti and Heena say the personal vetting of their service makes matchmaking a lot more effective than online dating.
"On dating apps, people are not very serious about the marriage. Maybe they are just having a good time. We meet our candidates in person to get to know their personality and understand what they're looking for, which helps us to find a match," Heena says.
And like Sheikh Alaa, they focus on interests and values, rather than looks.
"When our clients select or reject a person from the photos, we always tell them it's not just about appearance, it's about seeing the heart of a person," Heena says.
It's not just about appearance, it's about seeing the heart of a person.Heena Kajaria
"Sometimes we see couples who may not look like a perfect match, but when you're talking to them you see they're both on the same page, they have similar goals and they enjoy being together.
"It's about building a friendship; the love comes later."
'Just another service we pay for'
Melanie* founded her Sydney matchmaking business 27 years ago. Her members span various age groups, occupations and cultural backgrounds. Many of her clients are busy professionals seeking personal and discreet help in finding a soulmate.
"They just want to meet the right people who align with their preferences and compatibility criteria. They're keen to avoid time-consuming interactions on dating apps," Melanie told Insight.
She says people who come to a matchmaker are "more dedicated, more sincere", while those on dating sites are sometimes after a bit of fun – or may not even be real at all.
She believes matchmakers are busier than ever.
"When dating sites first came out, a lot of people thought there was no room for matchmakers. But it did the opposite. Dating sites made people understand it’s okay to get assistance and expertise when it comes to your love life.
"And because more people today live increasingly behind a screen, there is more and more need. The demand for matchmakers grows every year."
Maree agrees that matchmaking is "just another service that we pay for".
"We outsource so many things in life. I'm super busy and didn't want to wade through so many unsuitable coffee dates. I wanted it all done for me," she says.
"I'd recommend it to anyone, especially if they're time-poor. It may be more expensive than using a dating app, but it's worth it."
* Surname withheld
Watch The Matchmakers, a three-part documentary series that dives into the unique and private world of traditional matchmaking. Premiering Wednesday 14 February on SBS and .
Stream free On Demand
The Matchmakers
series • documentary
PG
series • documentary
PG
And for more stories head to – a new podcast series from SBS, hosted by Kumi Taguchi. From sex and relationships to health, wealth, and grief Insightful offers deeper dives into the lives and first person stories of former guests from the acclaimed TV show, Insight.
