My husband was obsessed with a Hollywood actor. It broke us

Sue* 61, says she's never been a fan of anyone. This made it hard for her to understand her husband's obsession with Liza Minnelli, which she says ruined her relationships and left her traumatised.

Being involved with a 'superfan' may have its drawbacks. Source: Getty / Alvaro Medina Jurado

Fandom can give people meaning and community, but there’s also a dark side. Watch Insight's episode Super Fans on SBS On Demand.

There were three people in my marriage, though I didn't realise it at first. And over time that person became the most important in our love triangle.

When my partner and I were dating, I found it endearing that he baked a cake for his work colleagues replete with candles and sparklers for Liza’s birthday. That his niece’s name was Liza with a 'z'.

It was only when I moved into his home that I finally understood the intensity of his fandom. On every wall were large-scale photographs of Liza Minnelli. There was even a room dedicated to the American actor, singer and dancer.

At our wedding, there was a flower from her wedding to American producer David Guest the year before. A fan had stolen it and sent it to Australia. My husband-to-be wanted it in my bridal bouquet.

After we got married and I became pregnant, Liza complicated things still further.

I had to negotiate for her collection room to be dismantled to make way for our baby. Eventually, Winnie the Pooh moved in and Liza moved to the garage.

But larger-than-life images of her still adorned every wall of our living spaces.

Sue says Liza Minnelli was a constant presence in her marriage and she became increasingly resentful of the star. Source: Getty / Lisa Maree Williams

My husband was desperate for a daughter and only selected girls' names. I had to persuade him not to choose the name Liza; we already had one in the family.

A week before the birth in 1999 I introduced the concept that our baby may be a boy. Our son was born soon after, to the initial great disappointment of my husband.

As I breastfed my newborn, who has his dad's brown eyes, he would gaze up at Liza's big brown eyes on the wall.

My blue eyes tried and failed to connect with my baby as I wondered: 'does he know who his mother is?'

Following her around the globe

Within a few months of our son's birth, it was clear we needed a bigger place to house our enlarged family of three plus the Liza collection, so we sold up and moved.

The larger home with customised Liza spaces quadrupled the mortgage.

My husband had told me Liza would take a back seat once we had a child but he spent so much time running his Liza Minnelli fan club and talking to fans, and some even came to stay.

He wasn't part of the family and he wasn't in the marriage; he was always with Liza.

'What happens in the dressing room stays in the dressing room.'

Sue's* husband

In 2003 my husband announced Liza was playing in Budapest. Without consulting me he booked a two-week family holiday to Europe, including five days at the five-star Le Meridien Budapest.

The package included a meet and greet at the hotel with Liza, front-row concert tickets and easy access to the star since she would also be staying at the hotel.

There was one big problem. How were we going to pay for it? I hastily applied to extend the mortgage line of credit by a further $20,000 and soon enough we were away, on my four-year-old son's first overseas trip.

Shortly after arriving at the hotel in Budapest, a note under our door indicated Liza was unable to make the meet and greet the following evening. Rumours were buzzing. She was due to perform the following evening in Budapest's largest stadium.

Sue and her husband spent thousands of dollars taking their son to Europe to coincide with when Liza Minnelli was expected to be there. Source: Getty / Allen Berezovsky

On the afternoon of the concert, we were told the venue had changed to a smaller one across town and Liza was not coming.

My husband was devastated, ranting and throwing things around the room.

We were told Bonnie Tyler would be playing in her place, and when the concert started at 8pm, I didn't join my husband at the venue.

Forever devoted

Back home in Australia, we learned there was never a contract with Liza and we were victims of a scam, along with other fans.

My husband was seething.

He made formal complaints with the Budapest police and hired lawyers in an attempt to sue the promoter and recover our money. Our phone bill went through the roof.

We were living a nightmare. And as months passed, this took a toll on our marriage.

I woke up one day to announce it was over.

Several years after we divorced, my ex-husband went to see Liza in New York with another fan, staying in five-star hotels and running up huge bills. I later discovered that he used money set aside for our son to pay for the trip.

Five years after we separated in 2009, my ex asked us to come to a Liza Minnelli concert at the Sydney Opera House.

We caved, thinking it would be the last time, and we didn't enjoy it.

My ex had helped the promoter so had scored access to Liza in return for ushering fans at the stage door post-concert. So after the show, we met Liza. My ex introduced me as the ex-wife, once happily married and now happily divorced.

Liza replied that was not her experience with exes.

Sue* met Liza Minnelli when she played at the Sydney Opera House in 2009. Source: Getty / Mike Flokis

He and she disappeared into her dressing room alone for 45 minutes, leaving the other fans, myself and my son waiting at the back of the Opera House.

Afterwards, I asked him what happened in there.

"What happens in the dressing room stays in the dressing room," he replied.

I'm happy now Liza is no longer in my life, though listening to New York, New York still leaves me traumatised.

Liza is now 78, battling health challenges and unable to perform.

And I sometimes wonder about my ex.

Though he won't ever see her in concert again, he remains a devoted fan. When she dies, I'm not quite sure how he'll cope.

* Not her real name.