This lesson suits advanced learners.
Saying no to someone is often difficult, especially if they are your boss! So, it is essential to do it politely and clearly without sounding angry or collegial.
Learning notes
Different phrases to use when declining additional tasks at work:
Saying no to someone is often very difficult, especially if they are your boss! So it is important to be able to do it in a way that is both polite and clear, without sounding angry or cold.
An effective way of doing this is to start by signalling that we are really reluctant to say no. We can do this using common little sounds or words called fillers that are routinely used to prepare people for bad news before we even speak such as:
- Oh, er, well,
Then it is useful to continue by saying something positive, what we call a ‘sweetener’, something that will make the bad news that comes later easier to swallow. We can do this, for example, by showing our appreciation:
- Thanks for considering me for such a crucial project.
- I’m really flattered that you thought of me….
- I appreciate the confidence you have in me ….
- Well, I am delighted that you think so highly of me….
And/ or showing how much, you would normally like to do something such as:
- It sounds like something I would normally love to do…
Only then do we go on to deliver the bad news, to say no. We can do this by showing that it is not a good idea, often introduced by but:
- But given my current workload, I worry I might not be able to give it the attention it deserves.
And it is useful for the reasons we give to show how much we are thinking of the good of the workplace as a whole, rather than just ourselves, such as:
- but given my current workload, I really don’t think that I would be able to give it the attention it deserves.
- but I really am working at full capacity at the moment. I'm concerned that if I overcommit it will affect the quality of my work.
- While I appreciate the confidence you have in me, I'm currently at full capacity.
- I'm concerned about overcommitting and I wouldn’t want it to affect the quality of my work.
- I really think that I shouldn’t take on any more at the moment. I don’t want my other work to suffer.
Colloquial expressions:
If you rub up somebody the wrong way, you make them feel annoyed or upset, even if you didn't mean to.
To go the extra mile means to work harder and put in more effort than is typically required.
Vocabulary:
Workload refers to the amount of work assigned to or needed to be done by a person or group within a certain period.
A concern is another word for a worry.
To overcommit is to agree to do more work than you can actually manage.
Transcript:
(Note: This is not a word-for-word transcript)
SBS acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of Country and their connections and continuous care for the skies, lands and waterways throughout Australia.
Hi, my name is Josipa. Recently, an old colleague got in touch, which made me think about the time we worked together. At my old job, my boss often asked me to do more work than I could really handle, like she asked me to take on and finish big projects in timelines that were way too tight.
And that got me thinking about the times when we find it hard to say 'No!' to our bosses.
So, this episode is for those of us who try so hard to do well and meet the expectations that others have of us that we sometimes take on too much.
Let’s learn from Allan, whose boss, Claire, expects him to always go the extra mile. This means she always wants him to work even harder and put in more effort than is typically required.
Claire
Allan, there's a new project coming up that involves international collaboration. I thought you'd be the ideal person to lead it.
Allan
Oh, er, well. Thanks for considering me for such a crucial project. I’m really flattered that you thought of me. It sounds like something I would normally love to do, but given my current workload, I really don’t think that I would be able to give it the attention it deserves.
Claire
I understand your concerns, Allan, but I have been impressed by your ability to manage your projects effectively, so I really think you could do it.
Allan
Well, I am delighted that you think so highly of me, and I appreciate the confidence you have in me, but I really am working at full capacity at the moment. I'm concerned that if I overcommit it will affect the quality of my work.
Good on you, Allan. This dialogue is a great example of how to say no to your boss without rubbing her up the wrong way.
By the way, if you rub up somebody the wrong way, you make them feel annoyed or upset, even if you didn't mean to.
Let’s look into it more closely. Allan first said,
Allan
Oh, er, well. Thanks for considering me for such a crucial project. I’m really flattered that you thought of me. It sounds like something I would normally love to do, but given my current workload, I really don’t think that I would be able to give it the attention it deserves.
First of all, Allan thanks Claire for thinking of him as a good choice for a very important project. In this way he is saying something positive before he actually refuses. This is something we often do when we want to soften the impact of something that we know someone will not like.
So, Allan already has a lot of work that he has to finish by a certain time ‘his current workload’ – so he is worried that he would not be able to spend enough time and effort on this new project to do a good job, that is to 'give it the attention it deserves’.
In simple terms, Allan is saying thank you for the opportunity to work on the project, but he is afraid that he is too busy to take on more work and wants to make sure every project is done well.
By focussing on his desire to make sure that the work is done well, rather than on the fact that he is too busy, he is showing that he really cares about his work. He is not refusing just because he is lazy!
Let’s continue,
Claire
I understand your concerns, Allan, but I have been impressed by your ability to manage your projects effectively, so I really think you could do it.
Allan
Well, I am delighted that you think so highly of me, and I appreciate the confidence you have in me, but I really am working at full capacity at the moment. I'm concerned that if I overcommit it will affect the quality of my work.
I have to say that I’m impressed by polite and professional way Allan expressed his concern about taking on more work than one can handle.
By the way, a concern is another word for worry. Let’s listen move by move to how Allan replies to Claire, who really does want him to take on the project.
Well, I am delighted that you think so highly of me.Allan
First, he again says how pleased he is that Claire has thought of asking him to take on the project.
…and I appreciate the confidence you have in me,Allan
…and Allan thanks her for showing such confidence she in him. If you appreciate something, you are grateful for it. Allan appreciates Claire’s confidence in him, which means he is grateful for the trust that she has in him.
but I really am working at full capacity at the moment.Allan
Allan is at full capacity, which means that he is so busy that he cannot take on more work. He then says why this might be bad for the whole workplace:
I'm concerned that if I overcommit it will affect the quality of my work.Allan
And only now does he say again that he does not think he should do it.
Allan is basically saying that if he ‘overcommits’, that is agreed to do more work than he can handle, then all of his work would suffer affect the quality of his work.
In other words, taking on the projects would be bad because all of his work would be of a lower quality.
If something affects the quality of your work, it means it changes how well you do your job, usually making it worse.
There are a lot of different ways to professionally say that more tasks could lower your work quality.
For example, Allan could have also said,
I really think that I shouldn’t take on any more at the moment. I don’t want my other work to suffer.Allan
Notice how Allan uses the phrase ‘really think’ to show that this is a well thought out response. And then shows how responsible he is by saying that he does not want to do work that is of a poor quality.
A big thank you to our educational consultant, Professor Lynda Yates, and our guest Ravi Moerman.
Paul Nicholson and Lily O'Sullivan voiced the characters of Allan and Claire.
